Bee Grateful

“Gratitude is the first step on the Simple Abundance path or it just won’t work.  Simplicity, order, harmony, beauty, and joy - all the other principles that can transform your life will not blossom and flourish without gratitude.”

Many moons ago I sat at the foot of my grandmother’s bed watching Oprah.  On one episode in particular Oprah was interviewing the author of Simple Abundance, Sarah Ban Breathnach. Sarah spoke about keeping a gratitude journal and the possibilities one could discover by being gracious on a daily basis. "The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now," Oprah said. "And the more grateful you are, the more you get."

This morning I was awoken, far too early, by the sound of the rain, nevertheless, I am grateful.  I am grateful that beside me is the world’s kindest loving man.  I am thankful that at any moment I will hear the footsteps of my little one as she makes her way into our bed seeking the comfort of her parents.  I am thankful that we are surrounded by a structure that we have come to know as our home and that at this moment we are warm and comfy.  I am thankful that we went to bed with our bellies full.  I am thankful that hours ago Jalayla and I were able greet our favorite visitor (Nana) and that I was able to spend some quality time with my husband.  I am thankful that today my brother is coming to visit.  I am thankful for genuine people, soft blankets, wellington boots, laughter, hot cocoa, frozen yogurt (even during the winter), and am especially grateful that despite the challenges that I face God continues to show me that He is with me.  At this moment I am even thankful for the rain and the fond memories I have of puddle jumping as a little girl.

I remember watching Oprah that day in my grandmother’s room and saying to myself that I had to get my mother that book.  I am not sure who took me to the book store but eventually I made my way and left not with one but with two of Sarah’s books one of them being a journal.  In the journal readers were instructed to write down 5 things you are grateful for each day.   Try it (or think it).  Come on.  You can do it.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I don’t always feel like being grateful.  I have moments in which I experience anger, frustration, and insist that I have the right to be upset and I do. I am human –  the embodiment of imperfection at it’s finest.  I don’t know if you know this but I come with a variety of emotions and wear an invisible sash which states “work in progress”.  Thank God for progress. I believe Oprah’s statement “the more grateful you are, the more you get” to be so true.  The more grateful I become the more joy I feel. The more grateful I am the more peace I feel.  The more grateful I am – well you get the picture.

Today I encourage you, no matter what challenges you are faced with, to be grateful.  I will remind myself to do the same.  While our challenges may be no less, for lack of a better word, challenging, I believe that a life lived with a grateful heart can be much sweeter than one without.  Today I am determined to focus on the rainbow that is coming rather than the actual rain itself. 

Grateful,

HB

"Grace is available for each of us every day - our spiritual daily bread - but we've got to remember to ask for it with a grateful heart and not worry about whether there will be enough for tomorrow."

 ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

A Little Child Shall Lead Them

This Sunday we had the privilege to host a gathering with our nearest and dearest mommies, daddies, and kiddies at our home.  My party planning partner in crime Connie and I had set our hearts on planning a special event for the little ones complete with gingerbread house decorating, goodies and comfort food.  Despite the challenges we have been faced with this December including, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, all of us and our little ones getting very sick (forget cold’s - I’m talking pneumonia, sinus infection, bronchitis, and the flu) and me having surgery just days before we pressed through and together planned the cutest gingerbread house decorating party that you ever did see!  We also ate the yummiest food ever (lucky for us some of my mommy friends have mad culinary skills) and had a chance to hone in our on cupcake decorating skills.  I am hoping to post pictures soon but for now I wanted to share what was the highlight of our night.  For as long as I can remember one of our most beloved Christmas traditions has been giving – not just to our family and friends but to those who we don’t know.  You would be surprised by how many people depend on the kindness of complete strangers.  This year marked the 18^th annual Spark of Love Toy Drive.

The ABC7 website reads –“For 18 years, ABC7 and firefighters from Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, San Bernardino and Ventura counties, along with the Los Angeles City Fire Department, have joined forces to run the 'Spark of Love Toy Drive'. This campaign collects new, unwrapped toys and sports equipment for the under served children in our communities. Toys collected in the respective counties are distributed locally. Last year alone, 'Spark of Love' collected over 500,000 toys within all five counties and we want to top that total this year, so please help the firefighter's ignite a spark of love in a child's heart.”

And (yep, started a sentence with and) while we don’t necessarily get to have the satisfaction of seeing their faces when they open their gifts Christmas morning  just knowing in our hearts that we helped spread some holiday cheer is by far means no less satisfying.

To end our festivities for the night we all made a trip to the local fire station.  Although there was a ginormous list of reasons why we should have stayed inside that rainy night our desire to allow our children to experience an act of giving for themselves was enough to motivate us to bundle up, gather some goodies for the firemen, and caravan down to the fire station.  With their toys in hand our anxious 1^st graders made their way under the rising garage door and were greeted by two firemen who happily accepted the good tidings they brought.  The firemen explained to them where their gifts were going and that night us parents left will our hearts full and our children left knowing what it felt like to make  a difference. Below is a picture of the little ones at the fire station.  To learn more about the Spark of Love Toy Campaign visit them here.  I asked Jalayla what she learned by going to the fire station and her words “I learned that giving is nice”.  She told me that “Christmas is all about being nice” and that giving made her "feel good".  Out of the mouths of babes... 

“...and a little child shall lead them.”  ~ Isaiah 11:6

Love Is...

On Tuesday December 14, 2010 my biggest fear – not seeing my child grow up or growing old with my husband became all too real.  Experiencing the worst pain (and a multitude of other symptoms) I had ever felt in my 26 years of life I frantically called and text my husband to come home.  When Chris got home he insisted that we go to the hospital.  Not wanting to move, I on the other hand thought all I needed was to “lay back down”.  We made our way to the car, took Jalayla to school and  made our way to the Emergency Room (mind you all of these places are on the same street - our house, the school, and the hospital).  This was the second time I was thankful for living just a couple miles from the hospital, the first time being when my brother had to be rushed there a couple months prior and ended up being hospitalized.  While there I saw a nurse and was instructed to go to the waiting area where I would wait for a room.  On this Tuesday in particular the sounds of ambulances were frequent causing there to be a backlog in the hospital not to mention coming in an ambulance trumps coming in your husband’s trail blazer so we had to wait.  As the pain worsened and my trips to the bathroom frequented those waiting in the lobby for their own ailments to be tended began to look at me with worry on their face.  Understanding that I had reached my limit my husband went to the nurse advising them that I could not wait.  Moments later my name was called (Thank God! I was in so much pain I had begun asking for him to take me).

Hours later I did end up having emergency surgery.  The operating room was prepared before my tests were finished so that it would be ready “just in case”.

According to the surgeon my surgery went very well.  Praise God!  While they initially planned to keep me they ended up discharging me (against my father’s recommendation). I could not wait to go home with my husband and daughter. Those last few moments in the hospital following me waking up from the anesthesia were mostly a blur with the exception of seeing my child smiling at me because “mommy was okay”  and later vigorously waving at me from the hallway.

Since being home my husband, mother, and daughter have been there every step of the way to ensure that I have a safe recovery.  Although my father and brother have not been able to here with me they have allowed their presence to felt through regular telephone contact.  Need I say I have been feeling the love.

One of my favorite comics is “Love Is”.  I’d like to share some of my own examples of what I have seen love to be over these past few days.

Love is your husband wiping your tears while holding a vomit bag over your mouth.
Love is your husband being a pillar of strength for the family.

Love is the countless prayers sent forth by those who love you.

Love is your husband taking your hand and praying for you before you are wheeled in to the OR.

Love is your mother, although sick, coming over just to watch you sleep.

Love is your coworker encouraging you to stay home and rest ( a blessing because otherwise you would have been on the road when the pain hit).

Love is your husband going to the store for you and sending you picture messages so he gets exactly what you requested.

Love is your mother and husband putting on your socks because you can’t and your feet are cold.

Love is your daughter holding your hand and walking you to the bathroom then standing there while you pee to make sure nothing happens.

Love is your husband setting his alarm to wake him up in the middle of the night so that he can bring you your pain medication.

Love is your husband standing there cheering for you as you try and drink a whole glass of water because the doctor said “drink plenty of fluids”.

 Love is your husband giving you and your daughter antibiotics because you both have been sick since Thanksgiving. 

Although reckless, Love is him giving you both kisses despite running the risk of getting sick himself.

Love is your father calling you constantly to hear your voice and to make sure that his baby girl is ok.

Love is your daughter wrapping you in a blanket so you aren’t cold and making sure you have a pillow too.

Love is your daughter telling her nana that she isn't going to cry because her mommy can’t come to her Christmas performance even though she is really sad because she wants to be strong for her mommy.

Love is holding back your tears because you are just as sad that you won't be able to attend.

Love is your daughter’s god mommy driving out to her god daughter’s school performance and arriving so early she saved nana and daddy a seat because her baby needs all the support she can get especially with her mommy not being there.

Love is daddy taping the performance for you so it would feel like you were there.

Love is your daughter’s tears when she sees her mommy cringe in pain and her smiles when she realizes everything is ok.

Love is a husband reaching over and holding your hand in the middle of the night because he knows that is exactly what you needed.

Love is your husband’s boss and coworkers sending home hugs and kisses because you can never have enough of those.

Love is having your husband’s phone and your phone inundated with calls and texts from your friends who did some investigating and found out you were sick and just want to make sure your okay.

Love is your friends letting you know that they are here for you and love you.

Love is your friend who lives waaaaay on the other side of the valley, who works full time with a husband, two kids, and a new puppy to take care, offering to bring you dinner.

Love is your friend making you laugh until your “stitches hurt” but its ok because you needed a good laugh.

Love is your dog sitting at you staring at you because she just wants to play with you.

Love is your husband, who knows you want to “lay on the couch for awhile”, turning on the Christmas tree lights so you have something pretty to look at.

Love is your grandmother calling you from the hospital to make sure YOU'RE ok.

Love is your mother sitting, coughing and watching you tie party favors thinking you are crazy for still having a party but then picking up some to tie too.

Love is your husband making your daughter French toast for breakfast because she really wants French toast instead of cereal and mommy promised her French toast.

Love is your brother calling you to ask where mom is and also to tell you that he loves you :)

Love is being determined to have the gingerbread house decorating party this weekend because you can’t wait to see the smile on your child’s face and because you know she has been waiting and waiting for this day to come (besides I only have to suck it up for a few hours and have next week to rest!).

Love is your friends texting you to let you know that it's okay to cancel the party.

Love is your friends all pitching in to share the load.

Love is your husband, mother, and daughter helping clean as you prepare.

Love is your mother cutting out 24 gingerbread men and hanging them for you because you are determined not to cancel your daughter’s Christmas party.

Love is your mother, still sick, coming over to spend time with you before picking up your grammy from the hospital.

Love is excitedly anticipating the warmth the presence of your friends will bring to your home during what has been a challenging time.

For me, love shows itself in so many ways.  Each day I have felt it in a multitude of acts of kindness and compassion.  The recovery process is going well to me.  I visited urgent care last night and overall I am doing well.  I am still in pain but no where near the pain that I was feeling when I came to the hospital Tuesday morning.  I’m feeling rather hopeful these days.  I look forward to a life where my norm is to “feel good” rather than “not good”.  I look forward to not having to push through days and events with a smile on my face because I don’t want anyone to worry.  I look forward to feeling like my best self and of course watching my child grow up and growing old with my husband.

As I write this I reflect on a message I recently heard in church where Pastor preached from Psalm 30.

Psalm 30 verse 5 – “...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

Its morning now…

Thankful for life and love,
HB

Children are a gift from God

Wow, what an awesome day!  One thing that brings me great joy is bringing a smile to a child.  This past week, my co-workers and I were blessed with the opportunity to serve at the Northridge Hospital Helping Hands Jam.  The children were part of the “No Child Left Behind” program, underserved children in our communities.  Every child should be given the same level of opportunity and resources to succeed academically!

On March 13, the Obama administration released its blueprint for revising the Elementary and Secondary Education Act (ESEA) also known as No Child Left Behind Act.  The blueprint challenges the nation to embrace education standards that would put America on a path to global leadership. It provides incentives for states to adopt academic standards that prepare students to succeed in college and the workplace, and create accountability systems that measure student growth toward meeting the goal that all children graduate and succeed in college.

There were 200-300 elementary school children in attendance. The children were so gracious and thankful to have been selected to attend the Holiday Jam.  Here we go bus after bus pulling up with hundreds of children giggling with beaming smiles quickly lining up single file so they could enter the celebration venue.  They were excited and couldn’t wait to begin the celebration, beginning with hot chocolate with marshmallows, to the lunch followed by popcorn machines, cotton candy, ice cream cart, hair painting, tattoos, painting ornaments, bowling, basketball toss, photos with Santa, karaoke, line dancing, computer games and the list goes on.  Each child also received a large bag of Christmas gifts. 

 I recall telling a group of them that I was excited and thankful to be there and help make this a special day for them.  It is not just rhetoric, but it is reality--life giving that it is more of a blessing to give than to receive.  I have a special place in my heart for children and was overjoyed about being able to spend my day serving and loving them.   May we seek to always be thankful and grateful for each and every blessing the Lord sends our way, whether large or small and never take anything for granted. 

As we finished saying our last goodbyes to the children, my heart was so full and I thought to myself it doesn't get any better than this and that is the blessing of serving thus being a blessing to someone else, especially the precious little ones!  Truly they are the gifts that add such richness and joy to our lives.  They are our future and it is for us to build them up, love them, support them, encourage them, and guide them.  As I served and played and celebrated with the children, I realized that we are all still children at heart and may we have the expectancy and excitement and openness to all that God has in store for us as we place our complete trust in our Heavenly Father! 

I can truly say that the best day of my life was when I accepted Christ, and He is the best gift that anyone could ever receive.  He is the perfect gift that keeps on giving… As I looked at all the many gifts and toys I thought of the perfect gift, the ultimate sacrifice and that is my Lord and Savior and He is the reason for the season.  May we all remember the true meaning of Christmas.

 For unto us a Child is born,
      Unto us a Son is given;
      And the government will be upon His shoulder.
      And His name will be called
      Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
      Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Blessings,

The Butterfly

An Ugly Sweater Party

This week I had big plans for the weekend.  Sure I had been sick for the longest time ever but I was certain that by 6:00  p.m. Friday I would be feeling much better.  I had a list of to do’s that I was determined to accomplish.  Things that I had yet to do because of the germ exchange that has taken place in my house this holiday season.  By the time Friday rolled around the little miss and I both ended up going home sick, her from school and me from work.  We spent the afternoon Friday cuddling, reading stories (The Giving Tree), blowing noses, and hoping our Saturday would be much better.  Saturday in between coughing fits and mad dashes for the tissue box we did manage to get some of our tasks accomplished.  I guess my mom was feeling brave this weekend (plus she promised Jalayla she would come visit and had already caught our cold), she came over and we did a little cleaning around the house with the intention of Chris, Jalayla, and I finally putting up our Christmas tree.  The Mr. put up Christmas lights, and the little miss decorated the windows with snowflakes.   Jalayla and I had hoped to do some serious baking yesterday but our vision never quite came into fruition.  Besides I’m not sure anyone would have wanted to eat our cooking given the current circumstances.  What I did end up baking; however, were 3 break and bake cookies in the wee hours on the night, the perfect addition to a warm cut of Theraflu.

Our plan for today was to go to church to get our praise on.  Last week was such a blessing for us.  Instead after dragging myself to the kitchen to make breakfast this am Jalayla and I made our way back to the bed and fell back asleep.  And now, hours later, here we sit. Jalayla on her DS and me on my lap top.  In just a few moments we will be getting up soon to get another glass of orange juice, she will ask me for some saltine crackers (for some reason we love those crispy white squares packed with sodium and no nutritional value what-so-ever) but for now we are nice a cozy. 

Wanting to be somewhat productive I figured I would make an attempt to cross one more thing on my list.  My mommy crew and I are having a Christmas party for the kiddos (did I really just type that) this year and I have yet to send out the evite.  So I went to evite.com, clicked on “winter holidays” and there was the perfect invitation.  Not quite what we are looking for but in my opinion worthy of honorable mention – an invite for “An Ugly Sweater Party”.  For some reason the sight of this made me feel all warm and fuzzy, kind of like sweater.  Apparently this is not a new concept and this type of shindig is common but it’s new to me and I’m very (easily) amused.  As I sat and looked at the invite visions of Christmas sweaters danced in my head.  And so I leave with you an ode to the Christmas Sweater.  Now remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Feeling a little adventurous this Holiday Season and want to host yourself an Ugly Sweater Party just go here.  For reasons to smile just look around.  They're everywhere we just have to keep our eyes and heart open to see them.

Wishing you and yours a Happy and Healthy Holiday Season.

I've got to bee me!

Wow, who would have thought that today would be the beginning of a new adventure that I would be privileged to share with my beautiful daughter.  She is forever inspiring me to step out, to be adventurous, to embrace the moment, smell the roses, and enjoy the journey between A and Z.  Sometimes, we can get so focused on the next goal, what we want, or how things will be better when...and we fail to enjoy the right now (living in the present).  There is so much to experience on the road trip called life and part of the greatest joy is seeing, being present and living each and every day that God gives us.  That's right we'll never come this way again, as today will end and prayerfully tomorrow will begin.  But what I have found to be true that through it all I've got to (bee) me!  God doesn't make mistakes so as we embrace life, we must learn to embrace who we are and all that we have the potential to become. Remember, how the butterfly came be.  No one can be a better me than me or a better you than you.  So, though I may not always be understood, I must still be me and seek to be a better, more fun-loving, life-living and love-giving person.  I look forward as Honeybee and I traverse the roads that are ahead with humor, vigor, expectancy and sheer joy knowing that we cannot live our lives in vain... for we all have been blessed with a gift or gifts that we can share and enrich the lives of others along the way.  So come go with us and yes, you can expect the unexpected.  Who knows what surprise or challenge each day will bring, yet the sheer fact that we are present to experience it will be exciting. 

I know one challenge that I can always count on is my daughter, but she just wants to bring out the butterfly in me so that I can soar.  Oh, that's what she was doing when we were experiencing her terrific twos, threes, fours... always looking out for her mommy.  It's amazing we so often focus on bringing out the best in our children, and so often they bring out the best in us. 

mommy and me bee bloggin now

Many nights on my long drive home my mother and I have talked and we have pondered.  What’s next for us?  This year I became a homeowner and a wife.  I also celebrated 30^th Birthday of my husband Chris (I’s married now J), the 6^th (Wowsers!!!) birthday of my daughter Jalayla and the 1^st birthday of our little Ori Pei Stella. While each of these moments were capital A – mazing they also brought about the realization that I was indeed growing up (guess having a child didn’t quite solidify it for me).  Through each of these moments my mom was right there to celebrate with me only one thing had changed.  When the music stopped and the last cupcake was eaten I didn’t assume my frequent position in the passenger seat of my moms Honda Accord nor did Jalayla take a seat in her big girl booster seat (yeah that’s right safety first – she’s still rollin in the booster). My mom and I still went home but not to the same place.  Granted we live approximately 20 minutes away from each other but for most of my life and all of my daughter’s life home was the same place. For many years I sat in my moms room sharing stories, shedding tears, borrowed her stuff and insisted on using her bathroom each day rather than my own just so I had an excuse to be around her.  I found her toilet to be so much more comfortable and mine and her lighting superb.  Jalayla also enjoyed baths in Nana’s tub much more than those in her own.  Did my mother drive me crazy?  Heck yeah! All of the time!  In fact I was moving out at least once or twice a month BUT she also drove me to Rite Aid (then Thrifty) for rainbow sherbet ice cream, doctors appointments when I was sick (or pretending to be), track practice (who cared if I was the only sista who wasn’t sprinting), to the hospital to see my brother when he was sick with cancer and he and I were both too little to understand, to Nordys to get my first pair of high heels, the hospital for the birth of her first grandbaby and then home, my high school, college and graduate graduations, the photo place for my Jalayla’s first photos (just in case the curly curls needed a touch up), countless places for the wedding and the list goes on...Just this weekend she drove me to the store to look at Christmas ornaments.  Where am I going with this you might ask?  My point is simple.  No matter what she’s always been there and always will be.  Whether she causes me to cry tears of joy or tears of frustration, whether I am 26 or 62, and although I have a new more broad set of shoulders (handsome shoulders) that I must learn to lean on she will forever be my mommy.

Tonight during our nightly convo we came up with the idea to share a blog.  We have been weaning ourselves from spending every day together to seeing each other a couple times a week unless Jalayla and I have germs.  We often talk about things that we would one day like to, places we’d love to see, things we’d like to try, and experiences we’d like to share.  While planning my wedding I dabbled in blogging and found it to be quite fun (I am most easily amused) and I enjoy reading them.  While I am not sure what exactly we’ll be blogging about I figure why not? My plan is to take the same approach I have been desperately trying to take when it comes to life “one day at a time” or in the case one post at a time. 

- HB