Hello lovelies! Starting tomorrow you can find me and a special someone here. My mom and I will still be buzzing in from time to time (if I can get her to keep blogging) but for a daily dose, or almost, of the bee you now know where to find me :)

Thanks for your continued encouragement, support and feedback both on and off the blog. It's been a challenging time in my life but there's only room for happy at the new spot and I'm workin on upin my happy ;) as always one day and post at a time. Be blessed!

xo,
The honeybee a.k.a His Mrs.

Blog will be live tomorrow at 6 a.m.!!

Gettin our GROW on

Aaaaah Springtime.  Growing up, for me, one of signs that spring was upon us was a trip to the local garden center with my grammy.  Every spring she and I would make our way down the aisles of plants and gardening tools and load up her shopping cart. She often picked a variety of flowers and veggies and always insisted that I pick out a plant of my very own.  I often chose strawberries - I had to have them and she let me.  We would ride home, me carrying my strawberry plant in my lap, excitingly talking about what she would make with the veggies we grew and our plan to celebrate the start of spring with the planting of some beautiful blooms.

Many years later it feels like I am creating the same springtime magic with my daughter, that my grandmother created for me.  Since before we moved into our home, exactly one year ago (WAHOOO!!!) Jalayla has wanted a garden. It has been a dream of the both of us to spend sunny days in our outdoor abode.  The funny thing about this is that we both scream at the sight of bugs which comes with being outdoors.  We are both working on that though :)

Yesterday after a trip to the Home Depot, 2 trips to the gardening center, 7 bags of dirt (stinky stinky dirt), a packet of seeds, and a few vegetable plants we started our very first garden.  My husband Chris and I prepared the soil, Jalayla issued orders and we all dug holes and planted our pint sized pieces of produce.  We also found a worm (we don't really run from worms) whom we adopted and named  Machamo (he was a manly worm).  Jalayla and I decided to put him in a small pile of dirt, she then sat next to him to ensure his safety.  After we finished panting our plants we put Machamo in his new home.

I am so excited that we were able to make this memory together as a family.  I don't think Jalayla will ever forget planing her first garden.  She was so eager to tell everyone about her garden, don't be surprised if she invites you over for salad, and this morning told us - uh about 10 times that the vegetables are growing :)

Often times we get so busy with the every day that we forget that we are constantly making memories for ourselves and our loved ones.  I often believe that the good memories we make are what carry us through some of life's most difficult moments - they give us something to shoot for, the opportunity to create more of them!

We are excited to see if our veggies will actually be edible and actually grow but either way we are having fun in the process.  I'll be back to talk about my "project" but for now I'm savoring this particular moment...

If our garden does well this year be sure to look out for us and our booth at the local Farmer's Market (but not really).

Just curious what are you all have been doing to celebrate the start of spring? Gardening? Baseball games? Shopping? BBQs? I'd love to hear about what this lovely time of year inspires you and your lovies to do.

Falling in Love

Well hello February.  You came so fast I didn’t have time to say goodbye to January.  Which is kind of ok because January, frankly, you kicked my butt.  Of course sprinkled in between all the fanny kicking were lovely lovely moments such as bringing in the new year at church, realizing that I had one month left until transferring to an office closer to home, finishing all of my laundry, meeting Emily (we're going to be on her show!!!), celebrating special milestones in the lives of loved ones, and of course falling in love over and over again with my two lovies – Chris and Jalayla, oh and our little Stella too.

This year I set out to be grateful.   I found that finding a reason to be grateful in the mist of my challenges changed the way I saw and responded to things.  Need I say it has hardly been easy and while I would love to bore you with details what I will do instead is share is my newest venture - Project me :) mmm hmm you read that right – me.  I have decided that I am working on making ME – Krishann – a priority.  Let’s face it I’m a “helper” that’s why I chose a “helping profession” and why I am always one of the first to volunteer to well uh, um – help.  And, while I find so much joy in doing things that make other people happy I need to find a balance so that it’s not at my own expense (or my family’s), out of feelings of obligation (cuz that's no fun) and so that I don’t slip back into my former profession – “people pleaser”.  I am ready to surround myself with people who pour into my life just as I do with them.  I remember hearing a message from Bishop Noel Jones a couple years ago during which he preached about people who deposit into your life and those that withdraw (and withdraw and withdraw) – there must be a balance.  I feel like my expectations (not very high these days) of others perhaps are a reflection of my own feelings toward myself and perhaps it is time to raise the bar. 

I mentioned falling in love with Chris and Jalayla over and over again.  The two of them are my gifts from God and they do bring me such joy but I am ready to fall in love with Krishann again too.  So one day at a time I will take things.  I need to worry less about what other people say and think and do what makes me happy.  One more time – I need to worry less about what other people say and think and do what makes me happy.  I need to stop worrying about being everyone’s go to girl ( “yes (wo)man” psssst) and what will happen if I don’t help out and invest my time and energy into the things that matter most – to me because I’ve got three cute little ATMS over here and I’m trying to make some nice deposits.  I also need to remember that I am valuable and precious if not to anyone else – to God and to ME.

So like I said I’m working on me.  Recently I was reminded that if I don’t take care of me how can I be any good to those that mean the world to me.  I was told next time I go get a pedicure (dare I go without Jalayla) remind myself that I am also doing this for my family (the other day when I stopped at Rite Aid to get a taste of nostalgia and got some yummy ice cream – that was for Chris and Jalayla :) ). But I get it, really, I immediately saw the correlation as in our home along with colds and yawns happiness is contagious.

So here’s to February a month where love is working overtime.  Here’s to chocolate kisses, homemade valentine’s cards and stickers (because we heart valentine's day stickers) and here’s to Black History Month – gotta represent.  Here’s to showing people that you love them by what you do. Sure telling them is nice too but haven’t you heard "actions speak louder"?!  And here's to ATMS may you have an equal amount of deposits and withdraws (No overdrafts alright?!).  Oh and let’s not forget, here’s to falling in love with ourselves over and over again <3

And then there was my little chocolate pooh bear…

Yes, that would be my precious granddaughter aka my grandbaby, Jalayla (Little Miss Briscoe).  She is my joy, my laughter, my wind and inspiration.  I cannot imagine life without her for she brings such love, warmth and endless energy when she enters a room.  Oh no, oh yes, here comes Nana’s baby girl.  I just love to hear her say my name.  I have voice messages from when she was a toddler until now at age six.  During those days when I need a burst of energy or looking for that silver lining in the clouds I just have to see , think about or hear that cute squeaky voice…”Nana!!!!”, yes my chocolate pooh bear, it’s your Nana!  I love to hear my pooh bear call me Nana.  I am so blessed to be a Nana, and I don’t take it lightly.  Some may prefer to not be called Nana because that reminds them of the reality that they are a grandmother... Well the reality is that I am a grandmother and I'm loving it.  I am so grateful to be honored with the name Nana thanks to my Jalayla.  She loves her Spanish so it was only fitting that she would call me Nana.  That’s right-- I am Jalayla’s Nana JJ. 

The memories that we have shared and prayerfully will share in the future are golden nuggets that enrich my life beyond measure.  I am so thankful for my righteous seeds, Jason and Krishann and love them with an everlasting love.  Yet, there is something that I share with my chocolate pooh bear that is priceless.  She can melt my heart and encourage my heart like none other.  Recently, we spent an afternoon together at my home.  It was such a blessing we sat side by side on the couch and shared bowls of pasta together.  Afterwards, we decided we wanted dessert and didn’t have any so we settled for cereal.  It didn’t matter because we were together loving, dancing, playing and enjoying each other.  We laughed, snuggled a little and then she asked me such a profound question.  I had recently attended a Homegoing Celebration, funeral of a friend’s husband from church.  Jalayla looked at the program and asked me what was it for and I explained that it was from a celebration of the life of someone’s husband who had died.  She asked where is he, and I said that he was in heaven because he had invited Jesus into his heart.  Since he was a believer he would spend eternal life with Jesus; however, if he had died before he had invited Jesus into his heart he would spend eternity in hell.  She looked at me with those bright eyes, and said “Nana, when I die I’m going to heaven, right?” I said, “Yes, of course you are.  Remember the day you accepted Jesus into your heart and asked Him to forgive you of your sins and to live in you forever.”  Then she said, “I remember Nana, that’s right.”  Then she sat quietly as if to ponder our words.   She turned towards me and said, “Can I invite Jesus into my heart again?”  I said, sure sweetheart we can repeat the plan of salvation together and afterwards she said Yeah!!!  Wow, the heart of the child and a child shall lead them.  She knows and loves the Lord and wanted that reassurance that heaven would one day be her home. 

Forever loving my chocolate pooh bear,

Nana J (The Butterfly)

Bee Grateful

“Gratitude is the first step on the Simple Abundance path or it just won’t work.  Simplicity, order, harmony, beauty, and joy - all the other principles that can transform your life will not blossom and flourish without gratitude.”

Many moons ago I sat at the foot of my grandmother’s bed watching Oprah.  On one episode in particular Oprah was interviewing the author of Simple Abundance, Sarah Ban Breathnach. Sarah spoke about keeping a gratitude journal and the possibilities one could discover by being gracious on a daily basis. "The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now," Oprah said. "And the more grateful you are, the more you get."

This morning I was awoken, far too early, by the sound of the rain, nevertheless, I am grateful.  I am grateful that beside me is the world’s kindest loving man.  I am thankful that at any moment I will hear the footsteps of my little one as she makes her way into our bed seeking the comfort of her parents.  I am thankful that we are surrounded by a structure that we have come to know as our home and that at this moment we are warm and comfy.  I am thankful that we went to bed with our bellies full.  I am thankful that hours ago Jalayla and I were able greet our favorite visitor (Nana) and that I was able to spend some quality time with my husband.  I am thankful that today my brother is coming to visit.  I am thankful for genuine people, soft blankets, wellington boots, laughter, hot cocoa, frozen yogurt (even during the winter), and am especially grateful that despite the challenges that I face God continues to show me that He is with me.  At this moment I am even thankful for the rain and the fond memories I have of puddle jumping as a little girl.

I remember watching Oprah that day in my grandmother’s room and saying to myself that I had to get my mother that book.  I am not sure who took me to the book store but eventually I made my way and left not with one but with two of Sarah’s books one of them being a journal.  In the journal readers were instructed to write down 5 things you are grateful for each day.   Try it (or think it).  Come on.  You can do it.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I don’t always feel like being grateful.  I have moments in which I experience anger, frustration, and insist that I have the right to be upset and I do. I am human –  the embodiment of imperfection at it’s finest.  I don’t know if you know this but I come with a variety of emotions and wear an invisible sash which states “work in progress”.  Thank God for progress. I believe Oprah’s statement “the more grateful you are, the more you get” to be so true.  The more grateful I become the more joy I feel. The more grateful I am the more peace I feel.  The more grateful I am – well you get the picture.

Today I encourage you, no matter what challenges you are faced with, to be grateful.  I will remind myself to do the same.  While our challenges may be no less, for lack of a better word, challenging, I believe that a life lived with a grateful heart can be much sweeter than one without.  Today I am determined to focus on the rainbow that is coming rather than the actual rain itself. 

Grateful,

HB

"Grace is available for each of us every day - our spiritual daily bread - but we've got to remember to ask for it with a grateful heart and not worry about whether there will be enough for tomorrow."

 ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

A Little Child Shall Lead Them

This Sunday we had the privilege to host a gathering with our nearest and dearest mommies, daddies, and kiddies at our home.  My party planning partner in crime Connie and I had set our hearts on planning a special event for the little ones complete with gingerbread house decorating, goodies and comfort food.  Despite the challenges we have been faced with this December including, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, all of us and our little ones getting very sick (forget cold’s - I’m talking pneumonia, sinus infection, bronchitis, and the flu) and me having surgery just days before we pressed through and together planned the cutest gingerbread house decorating party that you ever did see!  We also ate the yummiest food ever (lucky for us some of my mommy friends have mad culinary skills) and had a chance to hone in our on cupcake decorating skills.  I am hoping to post pictures soon but for now I wanted to share what was the highlight of our night.  For as long as I can remember one of our most beloved Christmas traditions has been giving – not just to our family and friends but to those who we don’t know.  You would be surprised by how many people depend on the kindness of complete strangers.  This year marked the 18^th annual Spark of Love Toy Drive.

The ABC7 website reads –“For 18 years, ABC7 and firefighters from Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, San Bernardino and Ventura counties, along with the Los Angeles City Fire Department, have joined forces to run the 'Spark of Love Toy Drive'. This campaign collects new, unwrapped toys and sports equipment for the under served children in our communities. Toys collected in the respective counties are distributed locally. Last year alone, 'Spark of Love' collected over 500,000 toys within all five counties and we want to top that total this year, so please help the firefighter's ignite a spark of love in a child's heart.”

And (yep, started a sentence with and) while we don’t necessarily get to have the satisfaction of seeing their faces when they open their gifts Christmas morning  just knowing in our hearts that we helped spread some holiday cheer is by far means no less satisfying.

To end our festivities for the night we all made a trip to the local fire station.  Although there was a ginormous list of reasons why we should have stayed inside that rainy night our desire to allow our children to experience an act of giving for themselves was enough to motivate us to bundle up, gather some goodies for the firemen, and caravan down to the fire station.  With their toys in hand our anxious 1^st graders made their way under the rising garage door and were greeted by two firemen who happily accepted the good tidings they brought.  The firemen explained to them where their gifts were going and that night us parents left will our hearts full and our children left knowing what it felt like to make  a difference. Below is a picture of the little ones at the fire station.  To learn more about the Spark of Love Toy Campaign visit them here.  I asked Jalayla what she learned by going to the fire station and her words “I learned that giving is nice”.  She told me that “Christmas is all about being nice” and that giving made her "feel good".  Out of the mouths of babes... 

“...and a little child shall lead them.”  ~ Isaiah 11:6

Love Is...

On Tuesday December 14, 2010 my biggest fear – not seeing my child grow up or growing old with my husband became all too real.  Experiencing the worst pain (and a multitude of other symptoms) I had ever felt in my 26 years of life I frantically called and text my husband to come home.  When Chris got home he insisted that we go to the hospital.  Not wanting to move, I on the other hand thought all I needed was to “lay back down”.  We made our way to the car, took Jalayla to school and  made our way to the Emergency Room (mind you all of these places are on the same street - our house, the school, and the hospital).  This was the second time I was thankful for living just a couple miles from the hospital, the first time being when my brother had to be rushed there a couple months prior and ended up being hospitalized.  While there I saw a nurse and was instructed to go to the waiting area where I would wait for a room.  On this Tuesday in particular the sounds of ambulances were frequent causing there to be a backlog in the hospital not to mention coming in an ambulance trumps coming in your husband’s trail blazer so we had to wait.  As the pain worsened and my trips to the bathroom frequented those waiting in the lobby for their own ailments to be tended began to look at me with worry on their face.  Understanding that I had reached my limit my husband went to the nurse advising them that I could not wait.  Moments later my name was called (Thank God! I was in so much pain I had begun asking for him to take me).

Hours later I did end up having emergency surgery.  The operating room was prepared before my tests were finished so that it would be ready “just in case”.

According to the surgeon my surgery went very well.  Praise God!  While they initially planned to keep me they ended up discharging me (against my father’s recommendation). I could not wait to go home with my husband and daughter. Those last few moments in the hospital following me waking up from the anesthesia were mostly a blur with the exception of seeing my child smiling at me because “mommy was okay”  and later vigorously waving at me from the hallway.

Since being home my husband, mother, and daughter have been there every step of the way to ensure that I have a safe recovery.  Although my father and brother have not been able to here with me they have allowed their presence to felt through regular telephone contact.  Need I say I have been feeling the love.

One of my favorite comics is “Love Is”.  I’d like to share some of my own examples of what I have seen love to be over these past few days.

Love is your husband wiping your tears while holding a vomit bag over your mouth.
Love is your husband being a pillar of strength for the family.

Love is the countless prayers sent forth by those who love you.

Love is your husband taking your hand and praying for you before you are wheeled in to the OR.

Love is your mother, although sick, coming over just to watch you sleep.

Love is your coworker encouraging you to stay home and rest ( a blessing because otherwise you would have been on the road when the pain hit).

Love is your husband going to the store for you and sending you picture messages so he gets exactly what you requested.

Love is your mother and husband putting on your socks because you can’t and your feet are cold.

Love is your daughter holding your hand and walking you to the bathroom then standing there while you pee to make sure nothing happens.

Love is your husband setting his alarm to wake him up in the middle of the night so that he can bring you your pain medication.

Love is your husband standing there cheering for you as you try and drink a whole glass of water because the doctor said “drink plenty of fluids”.

 Love is your husband giving you and your daughter antibiotics because you both have been sick since Thanksgiving. 

Although reckless, Love is him giving you both kisses despite running the risk of getting sick himself.

Love is your father calling you constantly to hear your voice and to make sure that his baby girl is ok.

Love is your daughter wrapping you in a blanket so you aren’t cold and making sure you have a pillow too.

Love is your daughter telling her nana that she isn't going to cry because her mommy can’t come to her Christmas performance even though she is really sad because she wants to be strong for her mommy.

Love is holding back your tears because you are just as sad that you won't be able to attend.

Love is your daughter’s god mommy driving out to her god daughter’s school performance and arriving so early she saved nana and daddy a seat because her baby needs all the support she can get especially with her mommy not being there.

Love is daddy taping the performance for you so it would feel like you were there.

Love is your daughter’s tears when she sees her mommy cringe in pain and her smiles when she realizes everything is ok.

Love is a husband reaching over and holding your hand in the middle of the night because he knows that is exactly what you needed.

Love is your husband’s boss and coworkers sending home hugs and kisses because you can never have enough of those.

Love is having your husband’s phone and your phone inundated with calls and texts from your friends who did some investigating and found out you were sick and just want to make sure your okay.

Love is your friends letting you know that they are here for you and love you.

Love is your friend who lives waaaaay on the other side of the valley, who works full time with a husband, two kids, and a new puppy to take care, offering to bring you dinner.

Love is your friend making you laugh until your “stitches hurt” but its ok because you needed a good laugh.

Love is your dog sitting at you staring at you because she just wants to play with you.

Love is your husband, who knows you want to “lay on the couch for awhile”, turning on the Christmas tree lights so you have something pretty to look at.

Love is your grandmother calling you from the hospital to make sure YOU'RE ok.

Love is your mother sitting, coughing and watching you tie party favors thinking you are crazy for still having a party but then picking up some to tie too.

Love is your husband making your daughter French toast for breakfast because she really wants French toast instead of cereal and mommy promised her French toast.

Love is your brother calling you to ask where mom is and also to tell you that he loves you :)

Love is being determined to have the gingerbread house decorating party this weekend because you can’t wait to see the smile on your child’s face and because you know she has been waiting and waiting for this day to come (besides I only have to suck it up for a few hours and have next week to rest!).

Love is your friends texting you to let you know that it's okay to cancel the party.

Love is your friends all pitching in to share the load.

Love is your husband, mother, and daughter helping clean as you prepare.

Love is your mother cutting out 24 gingerbread men and hanging them for you because you are determined not to cancel your daughter’s Christmas party.

Love is your mother, still sick, coming over to spend time with you before picking up your grammy from the hospital.

Love is excitedly anticipating the warmth the presence of your friends will bring to your home during what has been a challenging time.

For me, love shows itself in so many ways.  Each day I have felt it in a multitude of acts of kindness and compassion.  The recovery process is going well to me.  I visited urgent care last night and overall I am doing well.  I am still in pain but no where near the pain that I was feeling when I came to the hospital Tuesday morning.  I’m feeling rather hopeful these days.  I look forward to a life where my norm is to “feel good” rather than “not good”.  I look forward to not having to push through days and events with a smile on my face because I don’t want anyone to worry.  I look forward to feeling like my best self and of course watching my child grow up and growing old with my husband.

As I write this I reflect on a message I recently heard in church where Pastor preached from Psalm 30.

Psalm 30 verse 5 – “...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

Its morning now…

Thankful for life and love,
HB